Seasons of Sylvia - 1983

January 1, 1983

Lord, thank you for letting me see a new day and thank You for bringing us all through the old year.  Today, a new year lies before me and mine.  We are going to possess that new year and how wonderful it is to know that.

"...the eyes of the Lord are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year." Deut. 11:12

There will be good and bad, hills and valleys - but praise God, His rod and staff comfort me. He will bring me through and I hope I can learn and grow in Him through each experience.  Oh God, don't let me stagnate. Let my light shine, and if by Your mercy and grace, I can light another candle for Your glory, to profess You, to carry on the church life of Your people here on earth, to bring them to the knowledge and hope and life in You, I shall feel much blessed. 

God, bless our new year and let us use it to Your glory, not ours, amen.


January 16, 1983

Thy Name is as ointment poured forth: Jesus.  Lord Jesus.  Kings and kingdoms will all pass away, but the name of Jesus is forever, living.  Praise Him!


January 24, 1983

Oh God, thank You for Mearidith - what a joyful baby, so fresh from You.  This was such a happy week-end.  Brent and Laurie are such sweet and loving parents, keep this spirit of love in them for each other and for their children always, in You, oh Lord.

Joe was home and got to see the baby for the first time, I was so glad.  He is charmed by her, as we all are.  Thank You for this child, too.

Thank You, God, for being so merciful to us all.

Please watch over and care for Donna and Sally and the precious lives they are carrying.  You are able, amen, praise You, Lord Jesus, and thank You from my heart for prayers sent upward and answered.


February 8, 1983

The Lord is my Shepherd!

Oh Lord, lead me in Your everlasting way.  May my words and deeds be pleasing to Thee and be a bowing down and worshipping of You, my Holy King.  My King, my Lord, my Savior, my Peace, my All in All, the One who is worthy, and I pray that I shall praise You forever here and with the chorus of angels in eternity!

Praise the Lord! Amen.


February 27, 1983

As I stood this morning, shining my pots and pans, applying the Brillo pad, steel wool, rubbing hard, and finally looking at the beautiful results, I thought about how Christ is that same kind of polishing to our souls and spirits. 

How dirty and filthy we are as the world "uses" us as we use our pots and pans, and how we need the Life of Christ, and all it entails - the chastising, the valleys of death, the "rubbing and tumbling and polishing and scraping off of the marks" left by that use, day in and day out.

And how pleased He must be to see that "shine" in us when we take Him in these situations as our polishing and cleansing.  Only to get dirty again, of course, but as I diligently polish and shine each time, praise the Lord, so does He! 

One difference - I might give up once in a while, but God doesn't - He's the same refiner of our vessels, day in and day out, until one day, we will shine as gold - a lot of worldly dirt to be erased.

As I stood there polishing away, I had to rinse that pot or pan under running water, and so it is with Christ - He is the rushing, running water that finally brings out the shining in me.

How wonderful that is and how beautiful I must look to Him when He is through with me.  Just as I look at the reflection of my face in my shining copper pan - so must God "see" Himself in me after Christ and His life and His water finishes shining me up - oh, one day to reflect this God forever and never turn dirty again.

Praise the Lord, for He will accomplish what He has set out to do in  me.  Oh Lord, I am in awe of You, I praise You, I love You, amen!


February 28, 1983

Lord Jesus, I take You for my all today, amen!


May 2, 1983

Oh, Lord Jesus - You are so wonderful, so bountiful to me of Your mercy and benefits - hallelujah, to Your holy name!

Thank You for so many things, innumerable, thank You, Lord Jesus, thank You from my grateful heart.


May 31, 1983 - Memorial Day

What a memorial day!  Lord, we thank and worship You for Your mercy to Mike and Sally and Paul Michael, my newest grandchild!  7 lbs., 9 ounces; baby and mama and daddy doing fine.  Praise the Lord.  Thank You Jesus for bringing them through safely.

Paul - so new from You.  May he love You and be Yours as the apostle Paul was, as his daddy is, as his mother is, and me, too!

I am so happy - I wish Mearida could have seen this day - is that so wrong to voice, Lord! I pray not, I don't want to offend You.  I'm so happy and thankful - please, God, keep him safe.


June 12, 1983

Why did I choose you? What did I see in you?  I saw the heart you had. I saw a quiet man. You had a gentle way. A way that caught me in its glowing spell.

Why did I want you so?  What could you offer me?  A love to last a life time through, and when I lost my heart so many years ago, I lost it so willingly to you.

If I had the chance to choose again, I would still choose you.

Lord, I thank You that in our life together, these words were spoken to each other, in our own way, in our own words, but they were spoken and pleasing to our hearts.  For that, I'm thankful, that love did not go unspoken.

(Evening)  Thank You, Lord Jesus, for my sister - one in spirit and love with me. A very special closeness shared all the days of our lives - we are a pair.  I love her, and I'm so thankful for her love for me.


Friday - June 24, 1983

Lord, I thank You for the sweet angel, Paul.  Bless my family, Lord, and give them Your grace as their needs grow in bringing up their baby.

What a dear baby.  Keep him, Lord, in Your care, and bless him.  What a perfect joy it is to hold his tiny warm body; see something of my own son in his little face, enjoy him for the little while I had.

They grow so fast. I never am satisfied with my time shared with my grandbabies - I always seem to want more.  They give me hope, life, and so much joy and pleasure.  I'm so lucky - no, so blessed, mine did too.  I loved them and wanted them all.

What a magnificent road I've travelled - never let me take it all for granted.  I will praise You and rejoice in You, and thank You with my mouth forever, forever!  Praise the Lord! Thank You, Lord!


July 1983

Oh Lord, bless this new life in  my child, Laurie.  Care for her and her new baby within her - protect her, oh God, and bring it all safely to pass, thank You.


August 8, 1983

Praise the Lord for Phillip Keith - 7 lbs., 20 inches.  Thank You, Lord, for this sweet grandchild.

He is in trouble, Lord, but we are praying and trusting for Your mercy to him and his daddy and mama - Lord, heal him as only You can, as You healed the nobleman's son, and use him Lord to bring all of us closer to You, amen.

Lord Jesus, heal and bless Phillip Keith and let there be joyous praise to You for this from our mouths forever, amen.

To God be the glory, to God be the honor, amen.


August 10, 1983

Oh God, I love You and praise You for love toward us.  I thank You for caring children and family.

We are all hurting for Phil and Donna and baby Phillip, and Lord, I thank You that You are hearing and receiving our prayers.  So many are praying, Lord, for this baby and his parents. 

Oh Jesus, yes, we want You to heal Phillip Keith, but praise the Lord, I know You are healing us, too.  I know You have touched Phil - I know it and he knows it.  Lord, let him feel Your presence, enfold him and Donna and their baby, and let them know You are there. 

Oh God, let Your Spirit of love and healing and grace and strength and power from God Almighty surround our baby's hospital bed, and You heal, Lord Jesus, as only You can. 

Keith is in Your hands, Lord.  Let us give him to you, oh Lord, as Abraham did Isaac, and may we receive the blessing of our baby back to us, back to his mama and daddy to bring up in love and joy to give honor and thanks to You.  Oh God, my spirit groans, hear our prayers.


August 11, 1983

Oh Lord, we praise You and bless Your holy name.  Praise the Lord for the oneness of Your Spirit! How marvelous to find You have manifested Yourself to us in the same prayers, the same scriptures, the same words from our mouths -

Oh God, let us rest in Your written Word, it is established and set in the heavens and Your promises to us are true and trustworthy.  Thank You, merciful God, for receiving and hearing our prayers for Phillip Keith and Phil and Donna.  You've answered them, Lord Jesus, we know that, we want to give You the honor and praise for such a mercy, for such a healing process. 

Oh God, let us be still now and let You work.  Let our lips just praise You now.  Glory to You, thanks to You, honor and praise and blessing to You from our grateful hearts, amen, Lord Jesus!

Oh God, how many lives have You touched already through this precious baby, Phillip Keith.  We want this baby's healing to be a testimony to You, and a healing for all of us.


Wednesday - Sept. 14, 1983

Oh Lord God - I shout the great "shout of faith" in the walls of Jericho in little Keith's life.

It's not "You will heal him" but "You have healed him" - we just have to wait for the sound of the trumpet, and we shall shout the shout of faith and overtake the enemy in his body.

We have a "Captain of the host of the Lord" who has come to be with us in battle against the hurts in little Keith's body.

Oh Lord Jesus - "Thou art!"  You are enough.


October 20, 1983

What a great day this turned out for me...Mearida was born Oct. 20, 1919.

Thank You, Lord, for he was mine for a while, for a season, to share a sweet love.


Thanksgiving Day 1983

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good.  He is gracious and merciful. 

Thank You, God, for my life, physical and eternal, amen! 

Thank You for choosing me and keeping me and also mine. 
 
Thank You for being with me through joys and sorrows - doubly thankful for Your presence through sorrow because without You, I could not have made it.

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, praise the Lord!


December 25, 1983

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given and the government shall be upon His shoulders; and His name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, The Mighty God, The Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace..." Isaiah 9:6

Thank You, Lord, for being all these things for me.  Thank You for being born, for having lived as an example for us all, and for dying for me.

To You be honor and glory forever and ever, amen!

Seasons of Sylvia

April 11, 1982 - Easter

 

Lord, thank You for giving us Your resurrection life. Your children know the real meaning of Easter.

 

Thanks for a nice week - Cindy and the grandchildren and Joe - so nice to have them together here with me.

 

And Lord, thank You for taking them home safely.

 

 

April 24, 1982

 

Surprise, surprise! Joe came home on the spur of the moment and brought joy to my heart - an answered prayer on Friday - PTL - You are interested in even the smallest prayer.  I'm grateful. I pray that you might find some joy in me, Lord, as I am your child; as I find joy in Joe, my child.

 

Keep them safe, Lord, protected on their way back to school, amen.

 

I love You, Lord Jesus.

 

 

May 26, 1982

 

Lord Jesus, I love you.  I thank You for Your mercy and love everlasting.  You are such a good and high God, and yet so near to us, ever present, ever knowing our needs.  Lord, I praise You with my heart and spirit and with my lips.  Thou Art!

 

 

Summer 1982

 

Summer is going so fast - time stand still! Everyone is  growing up on me!

 

Vacation time - wish I could spend it at home and share more time with my children and grandchildren.  I need them for my "physical life and strength" in a way, and I hope in some way, they need me, too, and what I can bring into their lives...

 

Don't let me be a hindrance, ever, Lord, in their lives or a stumbling block to You. Pour more of Yourself into me so that I can reflect You when I touch the lives of others and also see You in them, so necessary.

 

The flesh is strong when we deal with others, we need to just be Christ when we deal with the world.  Let me see this with unveiled eyes.

 

 

July 31, 1982

 

Christ in me brings me a calm sea, makes my waves of sadness subside.  Thank You, Lord.  Sometimes You are so strong with me, I know I can walk upon the stormy waters; and other times, I too, like Peter, sink!  Ever increase my faith in You.  I love You, Lord, in my own unworthy way.

 

 

September 1982

 

Whew! Where did August go?  With Joe -

 

It's been a quiet, lonely house without him, but he's grown and I thank You, Lord, for keeping him in all his ways and in Your way.  But I do miss him, as I miss them all.

 

Praise the Lord for His mercy - He brings us to the wall and hallelujah, He make a way.  Brent got a job and they are so happy; I am too.  I've prayed and so have they and trusted. 

 

Laurie - keep Laurie and the baby in perfect health and be merciful in her delivery - be with her at that time, one to one, amen!

 

Happy news - Phil and Donna are getting married!  Lord, get into their lives, choose them for Yourself, and give them a heart for You.  Renew a right spirit with them and me, too... always, everyday!

 

October 2, 1982

 

Dallas heard from... "Brother son" Mike, and "Sister daughter" Sally! Oh Lord, they are so precious and love You so...

 

Well, something's doing with them, come May, but it's a secret right now, just between us and You - it was so funny and so sweet a time - God, bless them!

 

I praise You, Lord, for my Christian children - oh hallelujah, amen!  Lord we are standing as one, for our "household" -

 

 

October 3, 1982

 

Praise the Lord!  A new baby girl - Laurie and Brent's baby - Thank You, Lord!

 

7 lbs. - dear Lord Jesus, I thank You for bringing her through safely and a normal baby - please, God, continue to watch over them and keep them well.  I will sing of Your mercies forever - Thank You!

 

 

October 26, 1982

 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort...

 

Lord, I have known Your mercies and I'm so thankful.  Thank You for these past days, a lovely wedding, a new daughter, a new grandbaby, joyful visits with new found friends and family, and safety through all my traveling. 

 

For these worldly blessings, Lord, I thank You and praise You for Your mercy to me and mine.  And I thank You for Your mercy and love to me and mine for saving us and keeping us and wanting us for Your children, Your spiritual family!

 

I will sing of the mercies of the Lord, forever!  Thank You, Jesus!

 

 

Thanksgiving Day 1982

 

Blessings and joys - a baby in the forming I Sally , and praise the Lord, a new life in Donna.

 

Phil and Donna - Lord, touch their lives with Your mercy, spiritually and physically.

 

Keep these two new lives protected under Your wings, secure in Your love.  Lord, I pray for normal, healthy babies for my two daughters-in-law and my two sons.  Life goes on and I pray that life will always be in You.

 

It's so nice to have the children home, I love it - we are a family, praise the Lord, we care about each other, and that is such a blessing.  Thank You Lord for everything in my life.  All things work for my good.

 

 

Sunday, Nov. 28, 1982

 

Oh God, I get so angry at myself - I love too much, I talk too much, I trust too little!  Why can't I be like the birds of the air?

 

But, it was a great week - I'm grateful for the safety of my travelers.  The house is so still and I sure miss them all. The children were so good to have about, from the mama and daddy and oldest, down to the smallest!

 

An afterthought, Lord.  I love Cynthia's  honesty.  She's so unpretentious.  You know, they all are and that sure is nice. Bless them, Lord and help them all to be wise, more so than I ever was or am.  Oh God, I love them so. I love You, too.

 

(oh Lord, did I say something that hurt Momma's feelings? I have been known to speak without thought....I know she forgave me, because we had such a wonderful relationship over the years, but I am saddened to think I might have been the cause of her distress at this time, CR)

 

 

December 16, 1982

 

Joe is home, for almost a month, wonderful!

 

 

 

Seasons of Sylvia: January 1982 - February 1982

January 1, 1982

     Good bye, 1981! Hello, 1982! Another new year for all, another new year for me. Thank You, Lord, for everything that  came my way in the old year - I hope I was able to learn and mature in some way by each and every incident or phase of that year. Lord, I ask Your blessing on me and my family in this new year ahead. Be our guiding light.

     What a blessed child I have in Joey - so kind. Pampered me on this, my birthday, like I was the queen, herself!  We had Brian (Huck), Brenda Dunn, and Joey and myself to celebrate and eat the dinner they cooked and the cake they baked. A nice, warm day full of love. Thank You, Lord. And thank You, God, for the lovely conversations with all my children and friends who called on this day with love and well wishes.

     Praise the Lord for all His kindnesses!


January 13, 1982

     Said "adieu" to Joey today for a little while.  Sure was great having him home for a whole month - a month of lots of fun and new jokes and laughter with him, and I miss him already!  I thank the Lord they made it safely thru the ice and sleet.  Lord, bless his new semester and let him continue to persevere, and keep him completely in Your hands. Watch over him physically, emotionally, and spiritually, amen!


January 14, 1982

     Wow! Woke up to a winter painting! Wonderful, beautiful white snow - all over everything - it's too beautiful.  We're not fixed for this cold weather, but it is really beautiful to see.  The snow crunches under my feet - it sparkles like the beautiful granite rocks and stones one sees in museums. God's handiwork is truly beauty to behold!


February

     Oh February - I love you and also hate you... I love you cause Joey came into my life one beautiful cold day, a day of gladness and joy, in February.  And I hate you cause on another beautiful and cold day, you took Mearida away.  My heart stopped when his did - never have I been so sad, so lost.  And yet, through all that, in that horrible moment, there was too, a rejoicing, because Mearida died calling on Your name, oh Lord.  How ironic that joy and sadness can go hand in hand with death - the thief that steals our loved ones from us - that comes upon us unprepared for the shock, the breaking of hearts and souls together for 33 years - and yet, because Mearida loved You, Lord, I cannot, truly cannot, have only regret for that awful day - You were with him, in his spirit, on his lips, in his heart. Only that can bring me from sadness to gladness.

I love You, Lord - keep me in You, too!


February 19, 1982

     Mearida, our love is growing up. Joe is 19 today! He is my joy.


February 23, 1982

     Lord, thank You for this past weekend with Joe.  He is so kind, so sweet,  and gave me much pleasure.  He is a blessing to me.  Keep him, Lord, in Your safety, amen.



February 24, 1982

     What happy news I received today.  My baby girl is going to be a mama.  I am so happy for her and Brent.  May God bless this new life with His love and protection, and keep Laurie in safety and in His care and Brent, too.

     I wish Mearida could have lived to share this news.  He was such a dear grandpa - so sadly missed.  Oh Lord, it still hurts, but thank You for joy and happiness in the very midst of sorrow.  A new life to look forward to.  Another grandbaby - how wonderful!


February 26, 1982

     Lord Jesus - You were a substitution for our sins. Be a substitution for all our needs these days - all that is in You.  Be our peace and comfort, our courage and strength, our husband and father, all that is in You, Lord, be for us as we need it, as we pray for it.  Thank You, Lord, that we may draw from Your riches.


February 28, 1982

     Lord Jesus - the suffering Christ who understands and sympathizes and helps in my suffering.
Your sufferings put mine to shame, they are so small, but You understand anyway and help and give peace.

     I know Mearida had that peace.  Only You and I know the suffering he endured many times, and never complained.  My own "Job" - such an example for me to follow.

     But You know me, Lord, I murmur in the desert.  I have a lot of dross in me, but thank You for being patient and teaching and loving me along the way in this life's school.  I love You and I need Your love and strength and courage and peace - thank You for sharing those riches of Yours with me, so generously, so lovingly.

      Praise You, Lord - rebuke Satan and the death he would like to keep me in today, and let me stay in Life; in You, the Life, the Way, the Light, the Truth - You are Lord of all, and all situations. You are higher than any suffering -

(evening addition)

     Lord, how kind of You to send me a friend today to help keep me in joy.  Doris Robak - a lovely day, sharing her family and sharing You.  She is very hungry for more of You - deal with her heart and soul and spirit, and let Your light shine on her.  She loves you and she needs You.

     Talked to Joe - he's fine. Thank You.  Cindy called - thank You again for this older daughter - so sensitive and caring and full of insight of the needs and hurts of others.  Pour Your blessing upon their home and their children and continue to speak to Cindy's spirit - she's rich in You and I've seen her grow in those riches - I'm so happy for that.

     Lord, thank You for my family and what You've done for us all.  Thanksgiving Day is every day for us with such a God as You in our lives.

Seasons of Sylvia: November - December 1981

November 7, 1981

God Answers prayer!
"...and this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us; and if we know that He hears us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him..."
                                              1John 5:14-15

November 13, 1981

Thank You, Lord!


December 16, 1981

It's wonderful to feel so alive again! Joe is home and for a month. Just to look over and see someone in the same room with you, and to share words. It's a good feeling - I've missed him lots - I need someone always to give my love to, I guess.

Thank You, Lord, for keeping watch over him this semester - I commit him to You for the rest of his life- supply for him whatever is found wanting in me and be his way thru life. P-T-L!


December 18, 1981

Can't believe it! My country table... and Joe surprised me with it! There's a long story to this - but that Joe is something else!

Oh, Lord, keep a careful protective watch over him - he is so open, vulnerable, so giving - he'll be hurt by many if he's not careful.  Be careful for him -

This sixth child seems to have a sixth sense about him - I like him, besides loving him. Come to think about it, I like, really like, all my children; even if they weren't my very own flesh and blood, I'd enjoy being with all of them. They are nice people, and I thank You, Lord, for the grace and mercy you have given us in this blessing.  This, too, has been a wonderful gift from You. P.T.L!

WOW! Flash:  I'm getting a raise! $50 a month! Can't believe it! Wonderful Christmas present!


December 24, 1981

It's Christmas Eve - I'm lonely for Mearida, but I am at peace in my soul and in my spirit, and that's a good feeling.  Joe is out with friends, and will go to midnight mass to hear Brenda sing -

It's been such a good week - the young people have been dropping in all week, and it's been so good seeing them again.  Doug and Joe cut me some holly for decorating, and Joe and Bryan cut me a tiny tree for my table top, and a lovely azalea plant came from Dr. and Mrs. Deming, and everything looks so lovely and festive. 

It's wonderful to have caring young friends - met Doug's family and I like them so much, I think I've found another friend, and they are Christians, too, how wonderful!  They wanted us over for Christmas dinner, and so did Cindy Curry, a friend of Joe's, but we'll have it here and be just fine. 

Gotta start somewhere! We've come a long way, some of it has been lonely and hard, but we made it. Stan called this morning - we'll see him Saturday - Praise the Lord!  May He bless us all -


December 28, 1981

Thank You, Lord, for a lovely weekend, with Joe, many of his friends; with Cindy and Harry and children; with Stan for a little bit.

We make merry for a little while, but deep down there is the ever present emptiness of one we loved while he was in the world, and is no more - a loss changes us so much.  God tries to tell us these things so many times. My worldly heart is lonely for him, but my spirit rejoices!

The children are all fine - Phil called - so did Laurie and Brent.  Thank You, Lord, for bringing my family together and for sending them back home in Your safety.  Watch over Stan - put Your angels before him.  I pray the boys in the conferences were blessed with You - They'll share.

Thank You for the sharing of Yourself with Cindy and Joe and Doug's folks and Beverly - "Christians", in Your name, among all the tinsel and hustle and bustle of the season.  It's nice to keep our minds and spirits on You while all around us the world is scurrying. 

Your peace - there's nothing in the world like it - and You're so merciful to dispense it to us thru Jesus' name. A table in the wilderness - a table in the presence of mine enemies - when "things" get to be too much, I'm so glad I can get away from it all by "feasting" on Jesus - PTL!  Just go to the table and eat some Manna - how sweet to the taste, how peaceful is His escape route, how calming are His promises, how everlasting is His love and forgiveness and mercy.

I'm growing older, but I'm so young in Christ and as a "child of God", I can enjoy the delights as a child does, just. taking it all, almost greedily, and asking "my Father" for more, just like a child - never satisfied - but what He gives, is so satisfying, I praise Him for that.

Seasons of Sylvia: June - October 1981

June 12, 1981

June 12, 1946 - God, I was in the heavens!

Today we would have celebrated 35 years. I did so want at least 50! I wasn't ready for what happened, but I am so thankful for having had a marriage that was good for 33 years.

Everyone thinks I'm so brave,but You, Lord, know better, don't you? I can't hide from You.

Lord, I'm not able to understand all that happened but I can accept it, and that, in itself, is the miracle of Your love and Your life in me.


July 24, 1981

"I love Thee, Lord Jesus
 And Thy love to me,
 Draws me ever to seek Thee,
 And run after Thee"...

Praise the Lord! It's so good to sing along with the saints in Dallas.

I'm one with all the saints in every place who call on the name of the Lord!

Oh, Lord Jesus!


August 18, 1981 - Tuesday

Joey left for college today - you'd think I would be getting used to these "good-bye's", but no way does that happen. The last is as sorrowful and heart-tugging as the first!  But, Joe is my last baby bird - no more to fly from my nest.

He left me a beautiful note under my pillow - "baby bird" had as hard a time as "mama bird" did...

"I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward" - Gen. 15:1

Can my heart wish for more than this? We can stand in His promises. I'm writing these words on the blackboard of my heart a thousand times so that when I feel sad, I'll call them to mind and find joy in the minute or hour or day.

I read this poem not too long ago and I'm sure it was meant for me for just this time...

     Oh time, be slow!
     It was a dawn ago I was a child dreaming of being grown,
     A noon ago I was with children of my own, and now,
     It's afternoon and late and they are grown,
     Time, wait!
                                      (Mrs. Billy Graham)

Beautiful words written by a christian mother and I boldly borrow them for now.


October 13, 1981

Lord, thank You for giving me someone like Stan - he's been so kind and caring and supportive through these weeks of loneliness for me. And I love him as my son. His "pop-in" visits have been such a bright light for me and now I am having to tell him "good-bye" too.

Good-byes are so aching - they're like doors closing on a part of your life you want to keep open and as it is - but, I am happy for Stan - he has a better job, and because I love him, I have to let him go, too, with a blessing and not tears. Watch over him, too, as You watch over all my children.

                        `````````````````````````````````````

( I love reading my mother's thoughts. In the midst of her sorrows, her love for her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, always shines through... May all those reading and enjoying her journals see her Christ and come to love Him as she did.  Cynthia)

Seasons of Sylvia: April / May 1981

April 4 - Sat.

 

Joe's been gone for a week at Cindy's and Harry's and the house has been so still! But he's coming home today and I'm so glad. I have missed him so much! A picture of things to come, I guess - sometimes lonely, sometimes too quiet, sometimes too still - a home without my last child. Gonna be rough, but I do have a new job to keep me busy and that will be so good for me.

 

 

Friday, April 24

 

Oh, God, we lost Jimmy today - Joey's "brother", my "other son".  So young to die, never having lived at all yet.

 

My heart is screaming with the pain and sadness over losing this child. Please God, help Joey through this sorrow, he's so young to have to bear so much, but You can help him bear this extra load with ease and peace.

 

 

April 26, Sunday

 

Oh, God, we've come through a hard week.  It was so bad to have to say "goodbye" to Jimmy - my heart hurt so for Joe - he looked so bowed down, so lost. Please lift him up to You, Lord, and don't let him lose his Christ in all of this.

 

Thank You again for his many friends who were so supportive and comforting and offered their help.

 

Thank You for Cindy and Harry and the children this week-end - they helped us to be joyful. Thank You for Joe's job that kept him busy -

 

Thank You for Yourself through all of this -

 

 

Mother's Day Eve

 

I remember one eve of mother's day many years ago when Mearida said, "I'm gonna get you into your new house in time for tomorrow", and he did! What a beautiful Mother's Day present. What an exciting, fun day!

 

I feel sad today - I don't really know why except that maybe being a mother means sharing a part of Mearida, and since he's gone, even tho that part of him brings me joy, it also brings me sadness because he is gone. I don't like being just a half!

 

 

May 17

 

Baccalaureate! I cried watching Joe and I know if you were sitting beside me, your eyes would grow misty, too. You were such a dear softie!

 

He's a wonderful boy, but you knew that and I'm so glad! Our baby is a young man, honey, and one we can both be proud of - he's a part of us, but he's also a son of God's and that's the best of all.

 

May God preserve his going out and coming in from this time forth -

 

 

Graduation Day

 

Red pencil day!! We did it! 12 years behind, 4 more to go!

 

Big night planned for the grads - it's been a busy week!  Next week, exhaustion for sure.

 

I'm thankful Joe has a happy heart - we missed you, Mearida, but I know our spirits were in communion - Joe and yours and mine and God's!  Can't get any better than that!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seasons of Sylvia: February / March 1981

February 6, 1981

 

"Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous. Nevertheless, afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby."  Hebrews 12:11

 

"And He said unto me, My Grace is sufficient for thee, for my strength is made perfect in weakness."  II Cor. 12:9

 

Cindy sent me these two beautiful verses in her letter today. She must have been hurting today. Our children loved their daddy - Lord, keep them in Your Peace and strength, also.

 

Thank You Lord for spirits in communion today - Cindy's and mine.

 

 

Monday, Feb. 16, 1981

 

Spent the week-end with Bridget and it was like "old times". You can go back if you go back to the right people. We laughed over past and present times, got to see old friends, cruise "Main" - it's changed; growing pains that tend to change some things for the worse and that's sad, but old friends are special folk and I liked seeing them again.

 

A lot of my life is back there in DeRidder - it will always have a tugging hold on a corner of my heart.

 

 

February 28, 1981

 

One whole year - seems like just yesterday my heart stopped beating, too, and yet it seems like a hundred years of this emptiness in me.

 

Feb 28 - I'll not forget you, you're embedded forever in  my hurting heart. How ironic that on this day one year to the date of his death, Mearida's mother was laid to rest. Two people so dear to me to die within a year of each other.

 

Grandma Redmond was my dear friend, not just my mother-in-law. From the first I saw her, I loved her, she loved me and together we loved her son.

 

We thank You, Lord, for a good husband, a good daddy and a good mother-in-law and grandma. Some of the children were here this day for support and with love.

 

March 7, 1981

 

Oh Lord Jesus - my hurts feel raw today - I feel so weak and tearful, and at other times, so strong.  Up and down, up and down, and yet I know You are with me wherever I am.  That's a consolation and a peace for me.

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~



(Cindy is me. DeRidder is where we did most of our growing up. Bridget Gates was one of mom's lasting friends from her years in DeRidder. A few months before mom died, Bridget had her daughter drive her to Baton Rouge to visit mom. Momma's reaction was tears and "I never thought I would ever see you again in this lifetime." Bridget was faithful to sent cards and notes each month to stay in touch. Each card was received with smiles and sweet memories mom had of her long-time friend. When mom died, Bridget again made the trip to say goodbye to her dear friend.)

Seasons of Sylvia: January 1981

January 1, 1981

 

Happy New Year, World!

Happy Birthday, Me!

 

It was a lovely day. The Children called with "hello's" and love and good wishes. I have Joe and Melissa here with me.

 

Thank You for Your blessing and Your mercy.

 

Joe baked me a cake, Melissa "helped" but fell asleep before it was done - all tuckered out from the full day's activity. Joe and I lit the candle (one was all we put on it!) and I made a wish and we celebrated.

 

Thank You, Lord, for a caring Joey and for all my kids and family. I'm one lucky lady!

 

 

January 2, 1981

 

I miss Mearida - I'm glad the holidays are over. They were lovely, I shared them with loved ones, but it wasn't the same and I don't suppose it'll ever be.

 

Phil. 3:13 "...forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before..."

 

New beginnings - Lord, help me to continue a walk with You. I mustn't be afraid of my tomorrows for You are already there. And thank You for all my yesterdays - some good and some not so good. Thank You for a good childhood life, loving family, the privilege of allowing Mearida and me to meet, fall in love, marry and bring 6 children into our world.

 

Thank You for choosing me, showing me Your Life. You are a merciful Christ.

 

 

January 5, 1981

 

Mearida's hands - big, strong and so capable and lovingly tender. The same hands that could fix the plumbing could tamp down a pipe, roll a cigarette with cowboy ease, change and diaper a baby with tenderness, spank hard at times, teach all the kids the tricky task of tieing their shoe laces and love me.

 

His hands were farmer's hands once, caring for the land and stock; capable, competent hands at driving his tank or jeep through land mines in enemy territory, doing a job for his country; loving hands of a husband and lover; strong, protective and tender hands of a daddy, and last of all, grandpa's hands - playful, tickling and so loving.

 

It's good to remember him so.

Sylvia

Mother died over a year ago, and it has taken me this long to be in a position to deal with her house. My dad died over thirty years ago, and she had all those years to putter around that house, arranging furniture, buying stuff, and buying more stuff!

Momma was able to take items and arrange them together and the feelings evoked when you looked at her home was "homey", "peaceful", "I could live here!"  But, without mom to truly make it a home, it's just a house with lots of stuff needing to be dispersed.

All six children have homes with their own things, and we are having trouble releasing items to new owners. We want to keep her things, but where to put them? So, we are making hard decisions on what to keep, what to give to friends and family, and what to give away.And we need to do it in a hurry. We have a buyer for the house and we need to be out in the next month.

Harry, Kara, and I went to Alexandria a week or so ago to spend a few days there to sort through some of the items that need attention. In a drawer in the living room, I found journals written by mom over the years. It seems she started keeping her thoughts written down after dad died. I don't remember her ever keeping a journal in all the years of growing up and visiting. I didn't know she was writing anything personal. I thought she was keeping a journal on her enjoyment of the ministry messages and meetings.

 

I realize how important it is to have all the children see her writings. She wrote about births and deaths and daddy. With that in mind, I am going to transcribe her journals to be shared with her children. As I read the first journal, I cried the two hours it took me to read through it. I not only saw my mother as a grieving widow, but I was able to "visit" my momma again. (She was "lost" to me so many months before she died).

 

As you read her thoughts concerning her children, her loss of her husband, her God;  I hope you can see the woman I was able to love and honor and truly enjoy for the many years given to me.