Seasons of Sylvia: April / May 1981

April 4 - Sat.

 

Joe's been gone for a week at Cindy's and Harry's and the house has been so still! But he's coming home today and I'm so glad. I have missed him so much! A picture of things to come, I guess - sometimes lonely, sometimes too quiet, sometimes too still - a home without my last child. Gonna be rough, but I do have a new job to keep me busy and that will be so good for me.

 

 

Friday, April 24

 

Oh, God, we lost Jimmy today - Joey's "brother", my "other son".  So young to die, never having lived at all yet.

 

My heart is screaming with the pain and sadness over losing this child. Please God, help Joey through this sorrow, he's so young to have to bear so much, but You can help him bear this extra load with ease and peace.

 

 

April 26, Sunday

 

Oh, God, we've come through a hard week.  It was so bad to have to say "goodbye" to Jimmy - my heart hurt so for Joe - he looked so bowed down, so lost. Please lift him up to You, Lord, and don't let him lose his Christ in all of this.

 

Thank You again for his many friends who were so supportive and comforting and offered their help.

 

Thank You for Cindy and Harry and the children this week-end - they helped us to be joyful. Thank You for Joe's job that kept him busy -

 

Thank You for Yourself through all of this -

 

 

Mother's Day Eve

 

I remember one eve of mother's day many years ago when Mearida said, "I'm gonna get you into your new house in time for tomorrow", and he did! What a beautiful Mother's Day present. What an exciting, fun day!

 

I feel sad today - I don't really know why except that maybe being a mother means sharing a part of Mearida, and since he's gone, even tho that part of him brings me joy, it also brings me sadness because he is gone. I don't like being just a half!

 

 

May 17

 

Baccalaureate! I cried watching Joe and I know if you were sitting beside me, your eyes would grow misty, too. You were such a dear softie!

 

He's a wonderful boy, but you knew that and I'm so glad! Our baby is a young man, honey, and one we can both be proud of - he's a part of us, but he's also a son of God's and that's the best of all.

 

May God preserve his going out and coming in from this time forth -

 

 

Graduation Day

 

Red pencil day!! We did it! 12 years behind, 4 more to go!

 

Big night planned for the grads - it's been a busy week!  Next week, exhaustion for sure.

 

I'm thankful Joe has a happy heart - we missed you, Mearida, but I know our spirits were in communion - Joe and yours and mine and God's!  Can't get any better than that!